Are You Avoiding A Difficult Conversation?

Issue #34

As I was reviewing my list of lessons, I realized I only have 3 left, and 2 are doozies. 😵‍💫 But in the spirit of Women’s History Month, I’m not going to shy away from them, and neither should you.

Which brings us to today’s lesson…

Get Comfortable Having Difficult Conversations

I don’t think I know anyone who truly enjoys difficult conversations, but as a leader, they will become a necessary part of ensuring everyone in your house or on your team is living up to the core values and guidelines you have set. And let’s be honest, when we let unacceptable behavior and actions slide, we’re doing everyone involved a disservice.

So, how do you tackle a tough subject when just the thought of having the conversation makes your heart race and your palms sweat? With a solid game plan and ideal outcome in mind.

Personally, the first step I always take is getting clear about the facts of what happened and seeing if I can uncover the why. Then I make sure I’m in a neutral state before approaching the person I need to talk with to set up a time to sit down together. And please, please, please don’t just say “we need to talk” when you do this. Those words are the kiss of death and bring up anxiety and fear whenever spoken. Instead, try sharing a snippet of the “what” and “why” behind the meeting, but from a neutral and factual place. This will give both of you a chance to exhale and prepare.

The next key step to a successful conversation is keeping emotions out of it. And again, having core values to refer back to will make this process easier. “This is what happened, this is why it is not acceptable, this is what I’d like us to do about it….”

Difficult conversations aren’t about punishment, but rather pointing out behavior that is not in line with your values and offering a path to correct it. And as a leader, it is your responsibility to offer people an opportunity to do so and include yourself in the solution.

If the idea of sitting across the table from someone feels too intimidating, try taking a walk or chatting while in the car (this works really well with teenagers). This way, you’re not in a staring contest, but rather a neutral environment without the added pressure of being face to face for the duration of the conversation.

Is there someone you need to have a difficult conversation with that you’ve been putting off? Here’s my last piece of advice … find a way to tell the truth with love and you’ll both be better for it in the end. 😍

With you on the journey,